Three's a Crowd When a Shot Gun's Involved
by Sleuth Girl
Summary: Alternate Universe. Joe’s finally gotta girl but Frank and Chet won’t leave him alone. Joe will just have to set ‘em straight, even if a shot gun is necessary. Set in the late 1800’s. Oneshot.


_**A/N: I had some major writers block and I was watching an old episode of Loredo (a highly under-rated western show) when this story popped into my mind and I couldn't get it out. It might be silly but I enjoy it! You should know, I'm not a huge western fan, but I just thought it'd be interesting to write an old time Hardy boys! By the way everyone's about 25. Please don't hate on me for trying to be creative! If you're waiting for the next "B.D.E." story it should be up and running soon! Thanks and I hope I get at least one review from this! **_

**_Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my plot and Hope. _**

* * *

A band of unsuspecting bandits sat at the base of the brush covered hill, along with their plunder of stolen horses and supplies. Unbeknownst to them were three sets of eyes below Stetson brims watching them from above.

"Look at 'em. They're just sitting ducks," Joe hissed to his brother and friend.

"What do you expect us to do? Shoot 'em up and leave 'em for the coyotes?" Frank said rolling his eyes.

"No, look we can just sneak up behind 'em...nothing to it! We won't even have to waste any gunshot," Joe said anxiously.

"What's with you?" Chet asked looking at his friend with a quizzical eye, "Ah I see. He's got himself a girl that he wants to get back to," Chet laughed turning to Frank.

"I'll bet she's a red head," he added.

"Naw, long black hair," Frank quipped.

"I'll bet you it's red."

"You're on."

"Joe? Is your lady friend a red head of does she have black hair?" Chet inquired. Joe gave them both an irritated glare and went back to watching the horse thieves below them.

"Well what color hair does she have then Joe?" Frank asked his brother with a smile. Again Joe didn't answer.

"Does she even have hair? We can't bet on what color it is if she's bald!" Chet and Frank broke out in quiet laughter.

"You two can stay here and amuse yourselves, but I'm gonna go take care of these cut throats," Joe growled as he moved silently down the hill leaving his companions behind to watch.

"He's gonna take all six of 'em?" Chet commented. Frank shrugged as he continued to watch his impetuous younger brother.

There were two scouts about twenty feet back from the other four men. Joe advanced on the first man stealthily, shot gun in hand. He tapped the large man on the shoulder and before he knew what happened Joe shoved the butt of his gun into the man's temple.

"One down," Frank whispered in shock.

"Hey, he's pretty good at this," Chet said as the two men kept their eyes on Joe.

Like a fox, Joe crept up behind the next lookout. Carefully he picked up a rock and threw it to his right. The man, gun ready, turned to see where the noise had come from. Joe took the chance to sneak up behind him and with one solid punch the second man was out cold.

"Ha! Didn't even see him coming!" Chet praised his friend from afar. Frank smiled, hoping none of this would go to Joe's head too quickly. After all there were still four more men to deal with.

Joe raised his shot gun and ventured towards the oblivious men.

"Alright you're all under arrest," he pronounced waving the large gun towards the men. At first the four outlaws stayed where they were, courtesy of the weapon thrust at them. But after eyeing their blond one-man-capture they sprung into attack.

Joe was ready though. His gun thrown to the ground amidst the men he threw out four less than perfect punches.

"Should we help him?" Chet asked as they watched the fight break out. Frank held his hand up.

"I dunno Chet, looks like Joe is holding his own," he joked. Despite Joe's athletic capabilities he was no match for four huge men. Quickly Frank and Chet descended the grassy hill.

Through a flurry of punches and split lips the four outlaws were apprehended, guns and all.

"Collig better be thankful for this," Frank groaned as he rubbed his sore chin. Chet kept both his pistol and a shot gun on the four men.

"C'mon, what're you waiting for!" Joe yelled from his perch on one of the stolen horses, "Let's get 'em back to town!"

"Anxious are we Joe?" Frank smirked.

"Hey I'm just as anxious, I wanna see what this girl looks like if it gets him this worked up," Chet quipped as the three rode back into town, thieves in tow.

* * *

"Biff'll be here any minute now, just let me out of this dern cage!" Hope ranted from the cell as Frank, Joe, and Chet entered the Sheriff's office.

"Itchy trigger finger again Hope?" Joe laughed as he leaned on the cell door. Everyone in town knew of Hope's temper, but they also knew that she was just a good a shot as any man, even Joe.

"Can't you get the deputy to let me out of here Joe?" she asked with her sweetest smile, brushing some stray dirt off of her unusual slacks.

"Nothing doing Miss Peters," Deputy Riley said from around the corner a hint of satisfaction in his jovial voice. Just then Biff Hooper thrust his way into the room.

"What's she done now?" he asked Sheriff Collig.

"Shooting at Mr. Hennessey again," Collig replied with a grin.

"He was trespassing!" Hope exclaimed from the cage. Everyone broke into laughter. Biff paid for her bail and Riley opened the cell door for her. She glared at everyone in the room except for Biff and huffed out through the front door. Biff gave an apologetic smile and followed Hope at a quick pace.

"Okay Sheriff, we rounded up the horses and thieves, now I must be off," Joe said without even waiting for a reply and headed off across the dirt street to the hotel. Frank and Chet followed, snickering behind his back.

Ten minutes later Joe emerged in pressed clean clothes and boots, trying to ignore Frank and Chet.

"I didn't even know you owned a suit Joe!" Chet exclaimed.

"That's because I never wear it," Joe mumbled, pushing past his brother to button his shirt in front of the mirror.

"So when do we get to meet this lovely young lady Joey?" Frank asked his annoyed sibling.

"_Not_ tonight," Joe grumbled and left Frank and Chet to find some other form of entertainment tonight, other than teasing him.

* * *

She was even more beautiful than Joe had remembered. Her ash-blond hair piled high on her head, curls everywhere. She wore a long blue silk layered dress that excentuated her small waist. Lace and silk wrapped around the hoop skirt that floated to the floor.

"It's been too many years Joe." Her sweet voice filled the air between the two.

"That it has Vanessa."

They had the small hotel dining room to themselves for the evening. That is if one didn't count Vanessa's mother.

"Politeness goes a long way Joseph, I'm glad to see my daughter with a man as well mannered as you," Andrea Bender said from across the table. Joe gave her a sheepish grin. At least he was with Vanessa.

* * *

The Saloon, as usual was very crowded. A group of rough men sat at a table playing a round of poker. When Chet and Frank walked up to them, the men turned to face them.

"You boys new in town?" Chet asked.

"What's it to you?" one greasy looking fellow sneered.

"Oh I just thought I'd give you a friendly little advice," Chet said as he flashed his pistol and Ranger badge, "You best enjoy those drinks here, 'cause you ain't allowed to drink anywhere else in town."

Frank gave his friend as quizzical smile. The men at the table looked at each other in surprise.

"We ain't allowed to drink anywhere else?" one man asked.

"That's what I said isn't it?" Chet growled while Frank smirked at the men's faces, "Oh and _especially_ not at the hotel over yonder, you got that?"

All the men nodded and went back to their card game. Frank and Chet walked over to the bar, where Frank's sweetheart, Callie Shaw, had overheard the whole conversation. She couldn't keep the smile off of her face.

"What was that all about?" she asked, fixing the feathered hat that sat atop he strawberry blond locks.

"I just don't want vagabonds like them barging in on Joe's courting!" Chet laughed.

"Courting?" Callie repeated, her interest piqued.

"Joe found himself a girl," Frank smiled.

"Who is she?" Callie implored with wide eyes.

"Dunno, he wouldn't tell us," Chet shrugged. It was quiet for a moment between the three while they all thought about Joe.

"Well I don't know about you Frank, but I'm heading over to the hotel," Chet finally said.

"Why?"

"To have a drink of course, you know it's a lot quieter over there," Chet laughed. They said goodbye to Callie and made the short walk to the hotel across the street.

"You know it is a lot quieter over here," Frank commented as they leaned against the hotel bar, amongst some fancier dressed men. Biff came up to them wiping down the counter at the same time.

"Hey fellows, what can I get you?"

"Two whiskeys," Chet answered, still looking around the room.

"How's Hope?" Frank wondered as Biff poured the drinks.

"Angry. I hid her shot gun in the cellar." All three of them laughed.

"Say, have you seen Joe lately Biff?" Chet asked.

"In there," Biff pointed to the closed dining room door, "Quite the girl he's got too"

"Did you see what color hair she had?" Chet joked.

"Blond."

"We weren't even close!" Frank exclaimed with good nature. A commotion from the front entrance distracted the men for a moment. The group of poker playing ruffians entered and looked straight at Frank and Chet with questioning and angry eyes.

"Thought you said we couldn't drink no where else," the leader mocked.

"Well...uh..." Frank stuttered.

"You know boys, they keep their finest brandies back there," Chet said pointing to the dining room door. Frank gave him a sidelong glance as the group migrated towards the dining room.

"What do you think you're doing?" Biff hissed at Chet.

"Just having a little fun that's all," Chet said taking in Frank's expression, "What? You wanted to see what she looks like, well now's our chance."

For a minute they watched the dining room door. Finally there was a yell, a crash, and a bang.

"Better go help Joe," Frank sighed as he and Chet raced through to the room. The table was flipped, the dishes smashed, and Joe, a very angry Joe, was fighting his way through the second brawl that day.

"I can handle this," Chet said confidently. With a smile Frank leaned up against the wall watching the indecent. At one point Joe was thrown to the side next to Vanessa.

"Are these friends of yours?" Vanessa asked indicating Frank and Chet.

"Eh..." Joe muttered, not revealing anything in particular.

"Help!" Chet yelled from under one man.

"He said he didn't need no help," Frank quipped at Joe.

After a few more moments a bruised Frank, Chet, and Joe sat down as the group of men scurried away defeated. Vanessa, her face pale exited the room in a hurry.

"Well, she is very pretty Joe, I'll give you that," Chet said to his friend.

"Chet...you...you're a...you're..." Joe gasped, trying to find the right words. When nothing came to mind he just stormed out of the room leaving Chet and Frank, again, laughing.

* * *

"The Davis brothers are in town again boys," Sheriff Collig informed Frank and Chet the next morning.

"Robbin' another bank I'm sure," Frank grumbled.

"Where's Joe?" Chet asked.

"He asked for a few days off to spend with some visiting friends," Collig told them.

"One of these friends he's partial to is a lady Sheriff," Chet growled.

"Yeah Sheriff, can't you make him help us. Three is always better than two, especially when it comes to the Davis brothers," Frank pleaded.

"Are you suggesting I use my authority to interfere with one of my men's personal affairs?"

"No sir!" Chet said in astonishment. He turned to Frank and grinned. They had Collig. Hook, line and sinker.

* * *

"You're ordering me to go after the Davis brothers?" Joe said in astonishment.

"Frank needs your help," Collig explained.

"What about Chet?"

"He's staying here with me...a little business to attend to..."

"But I asked for those days off--"

"Well now I'm taking them back," Collig yelled. With that Joe stormed out of the building, past Frank and Chet who were waiting patiently by their steeds. In one fell swoop Joe mounted his horse and yelled back at Frank to get a move on.

"How come I'm the one who has to go with him?" Frank asked a smirking Chet.

"'Cause Collig needs me to talk to that city girl, Miss Bender, in place of Joe," Chet said matter-of-factly. Frank grumbled something about Chet's good fortune which made his friend laugh.

"The smart one's is just as dumb as the jealous ones," he called to Frank still laughing.

* * *

"Frank! You're talking like there's twenty of 'em! There's only two!" Joe whispered harshly from behind their rocky hiding place.

"Yes, but they're the Davis brothers--"

"And we're the Hardy brothers! Besides we've dealt with them before," Joe shot back. Frank smiled and took to silently making his way up the craggy hill towards the unsuspecting outlaws.

* * *

Chet entered the hotel that Vanessa and her mother were staying in and knocked on their door.

"Is Mr. Hardy here?" he asked when the ash-blond woman opened the door.

"He was supposed to be here over twenty minutes ago!" she exclaimed angrily, not recognizing Chet quite yet.

"Mmm, he never was one for punctuality. Not reliable at all," Chet grinned, shaking his head. Vanessa squinted her eyes slightly at the red headed man before her.

"Wait a moment, you're that ruffian from dinner last night who ruined my evening!" she hollered.

"I didn't start anything!--"

"Get out! Get out!" Vanessa yelled pushing Chet from the door frame and slamming the door in his face. At first he was stunned but still he couldn't help but laugh.

* * *

In Frank's mind he had done a job well done. Both Davis' were trussed and ready to be taken back to the Sheriff, but still he couldn't help but have a little fun with his younger brother.

Joe laid low behind the large boulder, just as his brother had told him to. He waited for the signal but never heard the whistle. He sighed heavily and turned to take a peek over the rock when two gunshots rang out, nearly hitting him.

Dust flew up from above him as more shots came down. Grabbing his trusty shot gun he fired. Bullets flew every which way until finally Joe got frustrated with the situation, his impatience and impulses taking over. Slowly, shots still flying, Joe climbed his way up the slope.

He came across what he thought looked like the Davis brothers bound and gagged and his brother shooting dozens of shots at his previous hiding place. Stopping to reload his gun, Frank looked up at his fuming brother.

"Well Joe, what are you doin' here?" Frank smiled sheepishly.

Angrily Joe cocked his gun and shot off a bullet towards Frank's feet.

"Hey!" Frank jumped up as Joe smirked and cracked off more shots as his brother tried hard to avoid them.

* * *

"You don't have to shove," Chet complained as Joe ushered them both into the small hotel lobby.

Biff was behind the bar that Hope sat at, her shot gun laying across her lap unceremoniously. Callie sat next to her, undoubtedly more lady like than her friend. They watched as Joe angrily pushed an amused Chet and Frank through the front doors.

"What do you think you're doing?" he asked them pointedly.

"Ah, we don't want you going off and gettin hitched to some city girl and leaving us here to round up all them bandits by ourselves!" Chet said with sincerity.

Joe looked to them both as Vanessa along with her mother and their bags came bustling down the grand staircase.

"Until we meet again Joseph," Andrea said as she rushed out of the building to the waiting coach.

"Leaving so soon?" Hope muttered sarcastically from her spot at the bar which received her a glare from Biff.

"Sorry we have to be off so soon, but mother doesn't seem to fancy it around here," Vanessa said with a slight sneer at Frank and Chet who just smiled back, holding in their laughter.

"But really Mr. Morton is correct, you belong here," she continued. Joe gave her a reassuring smile before pushing his way to the front door, Vanessa close behind.

Once outside in the privacy, with no one watching but the glowing moon, Vanessa gave Joe a departing kiss and went on her way with her mother, regret hanging in the air for a moment.

Joe couldn't help the smile that crept across his face as he heard the low whistles from his chums inside. He was actually glad things were back to normal, he had enough on his hands as it were. There was no room for a lovely lady to get caught up in his spurs.

Contentedly, Joe walked back into the hotel. There was still some unfinished business between Chester and Frank concerning a few stray bullets and a bar fight.


End file.
